DIARY - Tuesday 13th November 2007 Motorcycling is truly an International pastime. Being able to speak English and broad Yorkshire is no longer enough. In the past couple of weeks I have had Polish, Chinese and Thai students mixed in with the 'locals' and this has caused much hilarity on the training pad - at my expense I might add. Has anyone recently tried to explain in Thai the principle of centrifugal force? Why can't I find the words in Chinese to say a polycarbonate helmet is only good for two years and a fibre glass one for five? Last year I did a course in British sign language to help with any deaf students we might get - this is of no use whatsoever over the radio of course - and any signs I might make could cause shock and disbelief to any passing motorist, (as if I would - shame on you!) It calls for a little ingenuity and a lot of mime. My Brum brum brum with relevant twisting wrist action and a shake of the head means 'don't put the power on and off on a twist and go moped when doing slow control'. A pursing of the lips, a wobble on the cheeks (facial) and a smooth Brrrrrrr succeeds in showering all and sundry, tests the strength of the denture fixative but means 'keep the power smooth and use a little back brake. Demonstrating of course is the easiest way. I have become quite adept at riding a bike, knees trembling (now we could get into trouble here) exaggerating the wobble and then doing the 'knees gripping the tank' bit as I ride a tight figure of eight, get my drift? We have a game to show where the stopping distance could be, when the brakes are applied between a pair of traffic cones. Imagine this. Instructor stands there between the cones, points back at the top of the training pad, assumes a George Formby head down bum up TT Race style, lots of revving and brumming noises and then pointing at the speedo of the parked bike indicates no more than 20mph and then apply brake. Then, said Instructor runs forward, trying to mime holding back, showing where the bike could possibly come to rest. Then Instructor actually does the emergency stop, exaggerating always, the actual distance it takes to stop - just to make it look good! Piece of cake eh? So involved was I with the Thai student that when I turned to the Chinese lad and asked, in fragmented English, if he understood, he replied 'Course I do - I wur born in Batley tha knows'